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By Amanda Genge, Staff Writer
If your child is overweight, chances are he's already self-conscious about his looks. Classmates may have teased him. Gym class could be a mortifying part of his day. Maybe he comes home from school hungry because he avoids eating lunch in front of other kids.
This situation can be hard for parents. They want to ease their child's worry and pain but at the same time encourage healthier behaviors. Giving your child a "big talk" about weight and health might seem like a good idea. However, a lecture could actually make him feel worse. How can you offer suggestions while still being supportive?
Talk to your child's doctor
Start by talking to your child's doctor, maybe in private. The doctor can review your child's body mass index (BMI) and tell you if you should be concerned. He or she can also advise you about whether you should start weighing your child once a week at home, and give you diet and exercise advice.
Make changes as a family
The most important thing you can do for an overweight child is to make it easier for her to make smart choices about food and exercise. First, go to the supermarket as a family and pick out nutritious foods that everyone likes.
Kids often copy their parents' behavior, so you may have to change your habits, too. Do you eat many sugary snacks? Do you exercise daily, or not at all?
Come up with fun ways for your child to be more active with other family members - like riding bikes or taking a karate class with a sibling. This way, your child is less likely to feel like he's being punished for being overweight.
Keep the mood positive and the focus on health
Don't stress weight loss as the main goal. That may set your child up for failure if she doesn't lose much weight right away. Instead, boost your child's self-esteem by praising her when she makes good choices - and not making a big deal when she doesn't.
Choose the right words at the right time
Your child might mention being teased by classmates or feeling sad at having to buy larger clothes. This is the time to be caring and sensitive and to avoid lecturing your child. Help him feel confident about the smarter choices he is starting to make. Here are some ways to make the conversation easier for both of you.
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Acknowledge his efforts. Let your child know that you appreciate how hard it can be to make healthy changes. Remind him that he can turn to you for help at any time.
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Don't emphasize physical appearance as the problem. Even if your child is unhappy about her looks, kids should approach weight loss from a health angle. Tell your child that she'll feel better from the inside when she starts to eat fruit instead of cookies and goes for a walk instead of surfing the Web.
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Avoid making your child feel guilty. Don't dwell on why his eating habits are bad. Focus on the benefits of healthy new behaviors.
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Skip the bargaining chips. Threatening to take away privileges if a child doesn't stick to a diet will make her resentful about the changes. And promising perks for shedding pounds takes the focus away from the goal of being healthier.
Most of all, show your support and respect. Celebrate all your child's small successes along the way. The better he starts to feel about himself, the more likely he'll be to achieve his goals.
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This article was reviewed and updated
08-01-2009.
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